It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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