Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
