i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
