addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
now i know why i became what i already was.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
