i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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