Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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