I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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