Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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