I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
