He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
