are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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