last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
