Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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