The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
