I want to stick my p in your. b.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Are my feet made of real feet?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
