Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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