Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
