Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Enjoy the penises
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
