Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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