If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
