I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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