i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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