I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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