he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
