Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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