Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
