if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
