been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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