Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
