Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
