So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
