I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
