I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
