Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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