he wants to bone in the snuggie
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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