Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
