Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
