I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
