had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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