Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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