i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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