I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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