im holly from the hills drunk
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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