i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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