An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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