god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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