The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
