Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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