im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
