I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
